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Keep Your Dick Beaters Off My Tools Funny No-Touching Warning Sign Workshop Humor Offensive Shop Rules vinyl sticker /printed vinyl decal
$2.00 – $34.00
“The Legend of the Untouchable Tools”
In the corner of a bustling workshop, a shiny red toolbox sat, brimming with precision-crafted tools that gleamed under the flickering fluorescent lights. These weren’t just tools; they were the lifeblood of the shop, a sacred arsenal forged through years of hard work, dedication, and a few choice curse words. Their owner, Big Joe, was a towering figure with a reputation as sharp as his favorite wrench. Joe didn’t just love his tools—he revered them.
But trouble had a way of sneaking in. The shop was always a hive of activity, with apprentices and nosy colleagues constantly buzzing around, borrowing tools without asking and—worse—returning them grimy or damaged. Big Joe had enough. After one too many encounters with a stripped screwdriver and a missing socket wrench, he decided to take matters into his own grease-stained hands.
Enter the vinyl sticker that became the stuff of shop legend: “Keep Your Dick Beaters Off My Tools.” With bold, unapologetic lettering and a vibe that screamed, Don’t mess with me, the sticker took pride of place on Joe’s toolbox. It wasn’t just a warning; it was a declaration of war against clumsy fingers and careless hands.
The sticker’s arrival caused a stir. Apprentices snickered, trying (and failing) to stifle their laughter. Old-timers nodded approvingly, muttering things like, “Finally, someone said it.” Joe, however, remained unbothered. The sticker did its job better than any lock ever could—no one dared touch his tools now.
Over time, the sticker became a shop icon, sparking stories and chuckles every time someone spotted it. It wasn’t just about keeping hands off his tools; it was about setting boundaries with a sense of humor that only a true craftsman could appreciate. And in a world full of rules and regulations, this bold, irreverent warning sign stood out as a badge of honor for every mechanic, handyman, and workshop warrior who values their tools—and their peace of mind.
Visit our eBay Store or Etsy Store to buy vinyl stickers.
Craftsman Tools Box Logo vinyl sticker printed vinyl decal
Vinyl stickers are printed using full colour digital process on white matte adhesive vinyl. The images are printed using a professional wide format printers with original (NOT aftermarket) ink which guarantees high quality print, vibrant colours and long term usage of such a vinyl decal. The printer ink is solvent based usually used by sign companies for outdoor advertising. The print won't fade with time or chip off.
The machine prints images on vinyl and cuts out a contour line around the image as shown on a listing picture. It is an outer thin black line around the listing image so there will be a thin white border around the printed image. We buy the best quality adhesive vinyl of well known brands. The vinyl is rated for 5 years of outdoor usage. For indoor these vinyl decals could be used much longer.
If you want to change existing sticker design (to add your text or image) or you want us to make a decal using your own artwork, please contact us for a quote. If you have Ready-To-Print design, please send us your design file and we let you know if we can print it. PDF & JPEG are the best file types to send. Generally we accept vector and pixel graphics. Please note that pixel graphics must be Hi-Res (at least 200dpi with an actual image size) if you want to have the best quality print. Vector graphics should have embedded fonts (convert all fonts into lines / curves).
We are located in Vaughan, Ontario, Canada. A pickup option is available and it is always FREE of charge.
We provide combined shipping: If you buy more than one sticker, shipping fee stays the same as for one sticker.
Overseas international shipping (to Europe, Asia, Australia etc) takes 5-7 weeks so please be patient :)